Addiction can be a crippling affliction not just to the addict but to the people around him or her. It can cause problems in the workplace, drive friends away, end relationships and cause families to completely disown relatives.
It can be heartbreaking and take its toll mentally, physically and financially. It causes parents to shoulder the blame and feel guilty for something that was never their fault. It can also lead to crime, depression, homelesness and worse.
If you are worried about a family member or loved one then here are some things to look for. Perhaps you already have found drugs hidden or your loved one’s drinking habits have increased steadily then here are some more signs of addiction you may spot.
Money and other items going missing
One of the most common things people living with addiction will notice is money going missing from their wallet or purse. Maybe there is less money in the jar where you keep cash for bills than you thought. People don’t initially question this because it’s easy to make mistakes and also you don’t want to accuse your partner of stealing from you, especially if this is the first time. Drugs and alcohol cost money though and an increase in usage or a new habit needs to be funded. If you suspect money has gone missing start keep a close eye on your cash for anything going missing. This also goes for household items and jewellery.
Credit cards and other bills going unpaid
When visiting a loved one have you noticed unopened mail? Perhaps after due bills. Credit card debt can be a problem too. As mentioned, a habit needs to be funded and initially people will use their own money and then credit cards.
Hiding bottles
Look around the home for empty or full bottles. Bottles take up a lot of room and can’t be hidden easily in the trash without being spotted so you may find your friend or family member is hiding them until they can safely be disposed of. Similarly full bottles can be hidden in strange areas. Addicts stash and hide drugs and alcohol in places where you wouldn’t expect to find them and this is a big red flag.
Lying, manipulation and secretive behaviour
The whole nature of hiding an addiction leads to lies and secrets. It is not uncommon for someone with a drink problem to drink before attending social events and then only drink a little at the actual event so as to appear as if there is no problem. Afterwards in their own privacy they are free again to drink at their own pace. You may find yourself questioning things your child is telling you. Sometimes you will receive half truths and other times their stories don’t add up. Often different family members get told different things and when they confer realise the stories don’t connect.
Unreliability and strange sleep patterns
You may notice that a family member or friend has become more and more unreliable. At first you might not think too much of it but if they start regularly missing social events, family birthdays or keep turning up late there may be another reason. Are they sleeping at odd times of the day? Do they have difficulty waking up in the morning? Are they turning up late for work with no real reason? These are some things to watch for. For reassurance you can always consult a healthcare professional.
Lack of interest in things they normally enjoy
Teenagers go through phases so just because little Johnny has decided he doesn’t want to attend the chess club anymore doesn’t automatically mean he has started smoking pot. However a change in the group of friends they have, lack of interest in all previous hobbies, sneaking out and starting to get more secretive and private about their room can be a flag. It is important not to outright accuse your child though as teenagers go through many changes and start to want their own privacy more but if this is happening combined with other flags like money going missing then you need to be concerned.
Taking days off school or work
Taking a lot of sick days off work can be a sign of addiction or substance abuse. This isn’t where someone takes off a week because they are genuinely sick but more that they regularly call in sick on a monday morning after the weekend’s excess.
Being quick to anger and being defensive
Addicts are living in denial and any attempt to confront them will initially likely result in defensive behaviour. They may blame hiding bottles around the house on you and your controlling behaviour. Or they may say they have to have a drink in private because they knew it would cause an argument and they don’t have a problem. Addicts still feel guilt and remorse and if you question them about money going missing it will likely end with them being defensive and denying it due to them feeling bad about what they are doing.
The drinks cabinet
The drinks may not actually be hidden around the house. They might be hiding in plain sight. Perhaps you don’t drink very much yourself so you haven’t noticed the levels going up and down in the cabinet. Keep an eye on whether a bottle seems to be getting lower and then magically being full again the next day. Some alcoholics will fill up the bottles with water to give them the appearance that they haven’t been used.
These are some of the signs you can look out for. There are many others and if you suspect you have a loved one with an addiction or substance abuse problem then you will start to see behavioural changes and other flags. The majority of people can enjoy alcohol without having a problem but for many the problems with drugs or alcohol are very real and lead to misery and pain. There are many organisations and charities that can help so you don’t have to be on your own.
